warriorsavant: (Three Musketeers)
[personal profile] warriorsavant
Yes, we were at home today (what with its being the weekend, and the weather being beastly), but I'm referring the social custom. Miss Manners, in her " Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior" mentions that in 'her day,' accomplished hostesses would be, literally, at home, to receive friends with out specific invitation. There was some food and drink, but it was not quite an organized party, more of a 'just drop by and say hello' between time X and Y. Since the concept existed when society ladies existed - which is to say, when there were a large number of women with nothing better to do during the working day then stop by each others' houses and socialize, it was usually held in the afternoon.

Modern life being what it is, everyone we know works, so we held it Saturday midday. Having small children, midday is much better for socializing than evenings, or even late afternoons, so we made it for 10-2. We also actually invited people by sending around formal, engraved invitations. Well, its modern variant, known as email and text. The basic concept of 'drop by to chat, and have a bit to eat and drink, but not a formally organized party,' was maintained. I must say it worked very well. We're not very sociable people, but we actually had fun, as apparently did all our invitees. We're going to do it again weekly. Well, monthly. Well, sometimes. Who knows, at this rate, we might even end up having a social life.

We've never been very sociable, and generally loathed parties. As I've gotten older, I realize that I disliked most parties for the same reason I dislike the bar scene: there are a large number of people I'm not in the least interested in talking to, because they are not interesting. (So Gentle Reader, you know you've made the cut into a select group.) On the other hand, I'm more and more enjoying the company of a smallish group of people that are actually interesting to talk to. We are gradually building up a circle of friends, and will be having regular, if never frequent, social events.

Date: 2019-02-03 10:23 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] ravensron
Recall that when I was a teenager I bemoaned that I did not have many friends. Dad was astonished, noted I had friends over all the time and that at my age he'd only had one good friend. Agree with you that reason neither of us didn't much go to parties or bars was that there wasn't anyone we wanted to talk to. (E.g. It's Superbowl Sunday, note I am not with friends watching large men bumping into each other to obtain possession of an odd-shaped leather object) Don't really have any friends now, nobody outside my family I actually socialize with, and mostly for same reason - haven't anything to say to most people and don't know what I'd talk about with them (E.g. I'm not 100% sure what the names of the teams are in the Superbowl).

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